The way i act after eating fully justifies the appellation '’Ajokuta mamu omi’’.....
My abdomen was a bit distended.
‘’Hmmn,hmmn’’, I screamed as I squatted down on the toilet. I had no idea of any more dilation to make this thing come out of my anus.It was getting more difficult to undergo the '’’faecal labour'’. Hey God na shit I wan shit ,do your miracle!
It was not idiopathic,i knew my problem.
Yes,I had an issue with taking H20 plus loving carbohydrates.I would throw a lot of bolus of Eba to my stomach without taking more than 40mls of water,how cruel i was to my digestive system! I was a chronic Ajokuta mamumi until i found myself walking through the valley of shadows of constipation....
It was a Sunday. I planned going to church.
I had been having difficulty in passing stool for four days.But that sunday it was unbearable. If i tried going to church,i would only deceive myself as a Cele member lights her candle,So I didn't go to church.
I had the urge to defecate,so i went to the toilet.I sat there for close to two hours,attempts to defecate failed.It was then i knew how many tiles make up the wall of the toilet,i was busy counting!
I came out to have an Half-hour break,took litres of water this time,I went back to the toilet with gloves donned. I sat and gather momentum to push out the faecal matter,it got to the tip and retracted,probably it was fully dilated.I took a deep breath and push again.I had to put my fingers in my anus to force it out. It was my first time in this labour.I was grunting until i finally drew with my fingers,i fear an anal tear,so I was being careful .
‘’Hun Hmmn’’,I moaned.I moved myself in another position.Much to my relief,I saw the hard long thing coming out of me.
At last it came out,it was not a baby.It was just a straight strong faecal matter, with an unknown presentation.
My moaning has been turned to joy! Eh sir,Igbe yen le (That shit was hard).
I tried to flush the toilet,the stool was just looking at me like it’s my dog that killed it,e no gree go,beebee stubborn,beebee o ni gba! I had to flush manually by the use of bucket of water lifted above the earth. At first,it broke into two,only Peter left, leaving Paul.I did another bucket method before the stools vanished.
It sounded 'kpash' as it landed in the toilet. Who say Beyounce no dey shit?I wondered as i flushed the toilet,the faeces refused to go down low.They keep resurrecting. A line of song dropped -''Just gonna stand there and watch me by'' (Rihana) as i made an attempt to flush again.I heard a voice reply 'Mafi igi ti mi,shebi iwo sha lo yami' as i thought of pushing with a stick if it wouldn't listen! They later flushed away with a speed of snail.
So I had two testimonies for that day; That the hard stool came out and that the stools was flushable. Everything na double double!
I knew I had taken more than enough carbohydrates to disrupt my digestion. Over sabi is a killer! I didn’t take enough water too.
That was constipation in a known fine girl 😀
Constipation is considered a symptom of various health issues, rather than a disease in and of itself. It occurs when you have fewer than three bowel movement in a week.After this point, your stool may harden and become difficult or even painful to pass.This is when you start to strain in the toilet. Some guys go to toilets with their phones so they can play music to cover up their moanings when passing stools. Asiri nla!
Constipation occurs when digested food spends too much time in your colon. Your colon absorbs too much water, making your stool hard and dry — and difficult for your rectal muscles to push out of your body.
The causes of constipation are low fiber intake,low fluid intake, lack of physical activities, abuse of laxatives,some certain diseases and ignoring the urge to defecate.
If constipation is not taken care of,it could lead to Hemorrhoid( Jedi Jedi) and other digestive disorders. (The rectal veins get inflamed when you constantly strain while you want to defecate).
So,let’s try take eat foods that contains fiber,fruits,vegetables. Also,take a lot of water. Water e no get enemy!
Empty your bowel when you have the urge to. Suit no say make you no shit. Em,em.., sister,fine girls must shit to stay alive to slay o😀 felt a relief,it was like being freed from a bondage.
But i should have taken fruits,fibres and enough water to avoid all these shit.
Ajokuta ma mu omi learnt her lessons!
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